so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
i've created a new STD.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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