I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
