i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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