This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
