If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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