she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
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