Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
