Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
