I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
