i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
