Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Sober January is a disaster.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
