It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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