how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
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