You just made me feel so damn special
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
