he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
