we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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