I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
