Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
