So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
