Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
