Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
where are my eyebrows?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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