I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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