I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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