No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize
