Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Vodka?
Forever.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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