so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
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