i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
