yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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