How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Watching her eat just hurts me
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
