What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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