If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
My dick has a subreddit
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
