I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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