Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Did I show you my penis last night?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
