It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
She told me I should be a condom model.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
My ass is underappreciated
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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