what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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