and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
