Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
