he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
