how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
