bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
