YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Is it penis luge time yet?
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Randomize
