with your own penis?
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
