I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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