he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
