Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
