hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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