If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
