Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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