I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
