I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
