I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
