I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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